For several years now, Ethel and I have been "joking" about writing a book together titled, "If You Don't Know What To Say, ......". We have struggled with the second half of that title. (I'm sure you can imagine why.) So here I am, a sea of thoughts swarming through my mind, wanting to say something; something insightful, something profound, something inspiration, just something....... I think of the countless number of episode of "I Love Lucy" where Lucy is struggling with her words - LITERALLY! How did she manage to get herself into so much trouble? Well, to be quite frank, I think it was that she never had the right words..... SHE JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. I think Lucy could have benefited from our "dream book."
What to say?...... the truth is, sometimes there are no words. I know what you are thinking. Don't be frightened, it's ok. You see, I am not sure of many things anymore, but there is one thing that I have figured out. If You Don't Know What To Say, you should just shut up! I know that God has really been working on my heart over these past, several years and I've learned so many lessons. One in particular is that there is an enormous difference between "hearing" and "truly listening." You see, I've had a "crash course" on listening with the heart. I've decided that the head and the heart are not always "on the same page." So many times, I respond from the "head" when I should just S.F.U. (Ok, there is an alternate ending...) I realize that this is not just my personal problem, but a chronic problem with society in general. Those with the best intentions can really mess things up without even trying. Just hang out with Ethel for a day and you will see, first hand, exactly what I am talking about.
It makes beautiful sense that Lucy used to get herself into so much trouble. The countless episodes when she didn't have the right words to respond but instead of letting things "be," her words got in the way. (It reminds me of that commercial when the little boy tells his brother, "Man, that was one 'Jacked Up' haircut." This is when I want to say, "Man, that is one 'Jacked Up' comment.") OK, Lucy was pretty funny, but she was also incredibly awkward. Ok, Lucy was NOT perfect, but neither are we and that's ok. However, when our words "take the wind out of someone's sails," then there IS a problem. Here's where the heart comes in. (I warned you above that I have a sea of thoughts on my mind.) Trust me, this will eventually make sense....(maybe).
I have discovered that it is OK to just "BE." A hug, a smile, a wink, a kiss, a random act of kindness; there are not always words that can match these things and it's ok. Don't be uncomfortable... it's really ok. I know that some of us suffer from "B.R.S."(Bitchy Resting-face Syndrome-myself included), but that isn't what I am talking about here. People are suffering; physically, mentally, spiritually. What better way to reach out to someone in need than with a smile! A Hug! A random act of kindness! Just BE! Here is the remedy....If you don't know what to say, just shut up! If someone is suffering, Just BE with them in the moment. I'll bet they didn't put there hand in the air, begging you to tell them about the countless other people that they know who have suffered from the same ailment. I'm certain that they don't have a sign on their back that says, "Kick Me In The Heart With Your 'Jacked Up' Comment." I am fairly certain that they would much prefer to just BE with you. To BE treated as "normal." To BE loved. To Just BE! BE with someone for a lifetime, for a "season," a few hours, or even for a few seconds (as with a stranger passing you in a store), but by all means, DON"T let your 'Jacked Up' words mess it up.
